Who knew that book group meetings could take place during the day and in school libraries? Laura certainly didn’t! Until she phoned into the Walllington Jr/Sr High School library and talked to the reading group of teachers who had just read Piece of Work. Laura thanks Elisa DeNicholas, the school librarian, for spearheading the contest-entry and the phone-in visit, and wants Elisa DeNicholas and the other members of the group (whose names Laura didn’t get) that she had a great time talking to them. Since Wallington Jr/Sr. High School is, apparently, about fifteen minutes outside of NYC, Laura could tell the group was just a teensy-weensy bit more edgy than the Colorado gals. Which, of course, Laura could relate to, being the Queen of Edgy herself.

Laura LUVED talking with “The Bookie Cookies” book group in Pueblo, CO. They were fun, lively, smart, and not all angry and pissed off and bitter the way we are here on the East Coast! In fact, Laura was so taken with their Colorado-ish behavior that she swears the next time she’s in Denver she’s going to make a side trip to Pueblo and glom on to one of their book group meetings.

Thanks again to the actual Bookie Cookies for such a great conversation* (*euphemism for Laura Talking Their Ears Off):
Bama Morgan, Sue Romero, Donna Leinberger, Lauri Jones, Joan Robbe, Deb Wallace, Pam Trinklein, and Gloria Eller!

Okay, Laura wishes she could have thought of something better for the headline like “Clever in Cleveland” or “Classy in Cleveland” but Laura didn’t want to sacrifice precision for aliteration since clever simply wouldn’t have done this group justice and Laura hates the word classy since it sounds like something cheesy someone might say when receiving a bottle of Harvey’s Bristol Creme. Word choice aside — although Laura has to be on her toes here because many of the women in the group below are teachers!!! — Laura had a fantastic time on the phone Thursday night with this group of young[ish] women from Cleveland Heights, most of whom are single and two of whom are married.

They were fun, hilarious, intelligent, game, and they asked terrific questions, and since there was a nice mix of marital status and age in the group, they seemed to get most of Laura’s jokes and cultural references. They were also the first to admit that they could all relate to the topics of Laura’s previous books — dating and getting dumped; worrying about not having kids; being insanely jealous of a boyfriend’s ex — which made Laura immediately feel comfortable. (Laura loves when women admit to being as crazy as she is she was; it really makes her feel connected!) They had so much to talk about that Laura thinks the phone call lasted over an hour (the usual is somewhere between 30 and 60 minutes) — even though she must admit that a big portion of that time was spent talking about the incredible beauty and talent of Hugh Jackman (it’s not Laura’s fault — Tara started it!).

Laura has been asking the book groups she phones into to email her a photo of their group because she is nosy not just so she can post it on her brant for all the world to see and also so she can have it as a kind of keep-sake of some really nice book-self-promotion-memories. The real reason Laura asks for the photos is because she really wants to see the people she was talking to — what they look like, where they were when she did the phone-in, what their age range is — because Laura is actually really curious. That is, she is really curious about the people who read her books. In fact, Laura wants all book groups to know this little known fact:

Authors are just as curious about book groups as book groups are about authors!

So the photo and information about the book group members came courtesy of Mandy Geil (camel-colored turtleneck) in an extremely timely fashion (gotta love teachers for punctual multi-tasking!), so thank you Mandy! Laura just doesn’t want to take credit for factual and informational reportage on the group’s members she didn’t actually do, and she also likes when the information is in the group’s own words since it helps show the group’s true personality.

[The Cleveland Book Club, January 2007]

“So top row from left to right: Sherri Bellini (teaches gifted program and likes Goldfish for breakfast with her son); Sarah Lambert (1st grade teacher); Connie Preisel (literacy coach who is organizing the 3-day walk for breast cancer…you should join us!); Christine Dickson (kindergarten teacher, married to Blake, a lawyer).

“Front row left to right: Shari Kern (works at Fidelity and it was her office we called you from…she explained her job to us during our call Wed. night and I didn’t completely get it!..teaches fitness classes); Mandy Geil (me…I’m a Speech/Language Pathologist…been dating the same guy for almost 9 years); Julie Beckles (2nd grade teacher, married and mommy); Tara Keller (asks the BEST questions! and knows everything about the “stars”…5th grade teacher)

“We are mostly single with a couple of exceptions, and we are all in our 30s or very early 40s. We work in 2 different school districts on the east side of Cleveland…Christine works in Shaker Heights and the rest of us (with the exception of Shari) work in the Cleveland Heights/University Heights school district.”

*

Besides saying that if she’s ever in Cleveland she’s going to take the Cleveland Book Club up on their offer to visit them, Laura can’t help but end this entry with a shallow yet complimentary question: Do you think any of these Cleveland women ever take a bad picture? I mean, aren’t they just some of the most photogenic gals you’ve ever seen?

Again, Laura’s feeling a little uncomfortable about the terminology, but she’s just going to have to deal with it and get on with her story about the really reallly reallllllly fun evening she got to spend with a friend’s book group right where she lives.

Actually, Laura knew several of the women in the group — Gail Herman, who she adores, and who has managed to be a successful children’s book writer for years despite the fact that she has three (great) kids, is a good friend of Laura’s (their kids, Laura’s Benji and Gail’s Bennett, went to the same preschool — The Preschool Experience — and have stayed friends since); Chris Granfield is another woman who Laura knew from The Preschool Experience, as is Portia Durbin. Laura had never met the other women — the hostess, Anne Sperry; Bonnie Barber, Reed Donahue, and Tina Madeus — but she had met Jane Hong and Cynthia Casey briefly at one of her local signings and Jane Quinn is someone Laura had known when Laura’s Benji and Jane’s Nola were together in the same “educational playgroup” run by “the dour swede” that Laura describes in Piece of Work (but who was actually Dutch in real life) and they had a good time reminiscing about the joylessness of the twice- or thrice-weekly playgroup.

Anyway, they were a really great group of women and Anne’s house was beautiful (and neat! a remarkable feat, Anne explained, since her children had been home since 12:30 p.m.!) and as all of them said incredibly nice things about the book and quoted passages from it and asked her questions about it Laura could practically feel her ego poofing up like a giant helium balloon but she didn’t care. She was having a fantastic night and she deserved it! That’s probably the reason she talked non-stop and barely let her readers get a word in edgewise. Which backfired when she went home and fell into a black hole of regret for talking so much (why did she blab non-stop?! was it because she’d barely been out of her house since mid-November? were people annoyed that the meeting went to 10:30 p.m. instead of to it’s usual 9:30 p.m.?!). But luckily Gail, who had picked her up and dropped her off (door to door service. Laura loves Gail.) reassured her in the car and by the time Laura got into bed she felt better (except for the fact that her throat was actually a little sore from talking so much).

One of the funniest parts about the whole evening is that in Gail’s minivan, right when they arrived at Anne’s house and right before Gail and Laura went in, Gail very tactfully mentioned the fact that Laura had mentioned one of the book group member’s relatives in the book and referred to that relative as a hasbeen. Laura instantly felt sick to her stomach and wondered if there was a way to get Gail to drive her home immediately, but Gail assured her that this book group member had a great sense of humor and probably wasn’t bent out of shape at all about this potentially disastrous gaffe. This made Laura feel a little bit better — especially since she truly has a deep affection for hasbeens in general and this particular (questionable) hasbeen in particular. And when she actually met the book group member with the famous relative-by-marriage, Laura felt completely better. Reed was hilarious and the group had a great laugh about Laura’s near panic attack in the minivan and when the meeting was over Reed had Laura sign a book to her relative-by-marriage’s spouse who is also famous and of whom Laura is a huge fan!

Laura wishes she had a photograph of the group — she’s hoping that they take one and email it to her and if they do she’ll post it. But photo or no photo, Laura thanks them for reading her book and inviting her to come. She had a terrific evening.

Laura wants to share two really fun experiences she had recently phoning in to two different reading groups, but first she has to say that she’s more than a little confused about the correct terminology. That is, is the correct term for a group of people who get together usually monthly to discuss a book they’ve agreed to read a reading group? Or, a readers’ group? OR, a book group? OR, a book club? Usually before Laura starts writing anything — an email, a brant entry, a book — she likes to have her facts straight so if someone out there has an opinion on the above question, Laura would love to hear from them.

Okay. Back to Laura’s two fun phoners. The first one she did — in fact, the first ever by-phone book/reading/readers’ group/club Laura ever did — was with a terrific group of women in LaBelle, Florida, and the second one she did later that same evening was with a fantastic group of women — Babes and Books — in Bellingham, Washington. The way these things work, she found out last Monday night, is that the group/club calls the author, and then they put the author on speakerphone. Sometimes the group/club meets in a library, and sometimes they’re in someone’s home, but whichever the location, the author is still talking to people they can’t see and who can’t see them (which in Laura’s case was great, since she didn’t have to change out of her black “yoga” pants).

Despite the strangeness of such a set up — the worst part being that when you are talking (and Laura was talking a lot. As she should. Right? I mean, isn’t that the whole point of the phone-in? To talk a lot?) all you can hear is the sound of your own voice, not any of the reaction noise (assuming there is reaction noise) like laughter or side comments–Laura really enjoyed talking to these two groups a lot. They had a lot of positive things to say about Piece of Work — about the authenticity of how it feels for women with kids to go back to work, and about the authenticity of the sort of stress families face when one spouse loses their job and can’t find another one for a while. Laura was glad about that — one of the best compliments an author can hear is that the things they’re writing about sound and feel true to the reader. They also had lots of questions about escorting famous authors around the country (which is what Laura did when she was a book publicist years ago and which was on occasion so traumatic that she still hasn’t gotten over it yet).

So thanks to both book/readers’/reading groups/clubs for winning her on readinggroupguides.com and having her “visit” with them. She had a great time.

Before Laura gets all tied up in her back-breaking back-branting, she wanted to share her incredibly fun experience last week with the Lazy Readers Book Group who had just finished Piece of Work. The group had “won” her through www.ReadingGroupGuides.com, and because they all lived somewhat nearby it was arranged that Laura would meet them at Chili’s Restaurant in Dedham. Unbelievably, and though she had never actually been to that Chili’s (or any other Chili’s for that matter) Laura didn’t get lost! Needless to say, that got the evening off to a perfect start and it only got better from there.

The Lazy Readers was/were a great group of women (who, by the way, were clearly anything but lazy). One of them was 38-weeks pregnant, several of them were teachers (special ed, elementary, audiology specialist, to give a partial listing), and some were stay-at-home moms again after cutbacks and layoffs. They were smart, funny, and incredibly sweet, and by the time they asked a waitress to snap a photo and Laura was saying goodbye, Laura felt like she’d known them all way longer than 3 hours.

Here’s how to match their faces with their names (from left to right):

Kristen (part-time reading teacher, working on Master’s, has 3 kids)

Linda (audiologist though not working now, has 2 daughters, and founder of The Lazy Readers)

Marie (kindergarten teacher, single)

June (from Scotland, has 3 children, in US for 2 years)

Jeannine (physical therapist, has one daughter and 2nd child due any day)

Christina (school counselor, has 3 boys)

And then, of course, there’s Laura (The Writer, The Branter, The Book Group Visitor, has one boy).

Thanks again, Lazy Readers, for such a lovely evening!

*

Being the live author at someone’s book group doesn’t always go so well.

Laura’s last experience visiting a book group in person was really pretty strange (read: unpleasant, awful, traumatic, psychologically scarring). The group she visited had won her through a local elementary school fundraiser, and the first time she came to their meeting the group had just finished reading Laura’s second novel, Dating Big Bird. Surprisingly everybody loved the book and they all had such a great time with Laura and she had such a great time with them, that at the end of the evening they asked her a question:

“If we read another one of your books will you come back?”

“Of course I’ll come back!” Laura said, wondering who would be stupid enough to pass up another opportunity to be praised and liked.

Her next visit was scheduled in the winter, about three months later, and for this meeting the group had selected her third novel, HER. The minute Laura entered the hostess’ house, she realized that instead of twelve women showing up as they had for the first meeting, only six women were there for this meeting. Ever the pessimist and catastrophizer, and despite the hostess’ laundry list of excuses: “[Insert book group member’s name] couldn’t come because her [insert child’s name here] came home early with a [insert ailment here]” “[Insert another book group member’s name] couldn’t come because she uhm [insert heroically-attempted but completely unconvincing and lame white lie here.]”) Laura knew that wasn’t a good sign.

But the minute she knew she was really in trouble was when she entered the living room and saw three of the six women sitting on the couch in classic angry-body-language position: arms folded across their chests; furrowed brows; no eye-contact. Laura took her seat on a nearby wingback chair and waited for someone to say something nice the way they did the last time, but that’s not what happened. Several uncomfortable minutes in silence passed before the three angry couch-ladies started talking.

Angry Couch Lady #1:

“I’m sorry, but I just HATED the narrator.”

Angry Couch Lady #2:

“Me too. I just couldn’t STAND her.”

Angry Couch Lady #3:

“Everytime she opened her mouth it was like fingernails on a chalkboard. She was so neurotic and self-absorbed.”

Angry Couch Lady #1:

Exactly!

Angry Couch Lady #2:

It was so unbearable that I had to force myself to finish it.

Angry Couch Lady #3:

It was so annoying I COULDN’T finish it!

Angry Couch Lady #1:

ME EITHER!!!

As for the other three women: the hostess really liked the book, and another woman liked the book, and the last woman was a school psychologist at a fancy nearby private school and was so polite and lovely in her attempt to salvage the evening (albeit while, too, telling me she didn’t quite like the book), that Laura was able to maintain some shred of dignity (i.e. she didn’t cry). At some point, after all the tirades and her ridiculously unnecessary explanations and defenses and apologies for the book, she left, and to this day she can’t believe she stayed the entire evening. She should have left at the very beginning! And even more than that, THEY SHOULD HAVE CANCELLED HER VISIT!

Which is what Laura hopes every book club who invites an author to their meetings understands: It’s completely fine if you don’t like the book (or even if you hate the book) but if you don’t like the book (and especially if you hate the book) just tell the author you need to reschedule their visit and then never call back with a date!

The other night Laura was feted at Lincoln Street Coffee in Newton Highlands during a Girls Night Out evening her close friend and former next-door-neighbor Elisa D’Andrea (and husband Glen Weinstein) arranged. (Laura’s not sure how she feels about phrases like “Girls Night Out” or “Girls Night In” or any other one that uses the word “Girls” to refer to women over the age of 9, but for lack of a better descriptive title — “An Evening of Free Brownies and Coffee” just doesn’t quite seem to cut it — Laura’s going to leave it that way. For now. [She can always come back and change it. That’s the beauty of blogs. Or, brants.])

Anyway, about 40 women came for an evening of free brownies and coffee and to listen to Laura talk about herself while sitting criss-cross-applesauce in an upholstered club chair and read from her new book. Laura had a great time. One of the reasons she had such a great time was because so many of her friends from so many different parts of Laura’s life were there all at the same time. For instance, her cherished Preschool-Era Blog Moms were there — including Pinar, whose due date to give birth had come and gone two days before and who ended up, only hours later, giving birth (very very quickly) to a little girl named Ayla! Also there were the women from Laura’s book group (from which she’s taken a brief sabbatical); friends from Laura’s new neighborhood (another section of Newton called Auburndale); sisters of friends from Laura’s new neighborhood, former preschool teachers, friends of friends, etc etc. The other reason it was a great night was because Laura was feeling uncharacteristically blue that day (well, that’s not entirely true; Laura has battled off and on her whole life with depression, but that’s neither here nor there right now!!) and so being around that many truly good friends gave her mood an enormous and desperately needed boost. Quite a night, and Laura thanks Elisa, one of the smartest and funniest and most generous friends she’s ever had, and everyone who came, for helping her celebrate..

Everyone who is lucky enough to have a great evening has a favorite part of that great evening, and Laura’s favorite part (besides the moment when she had a giant brownie) was when people started telling her how much they were enjoying her brant. Laura was shocked and amazed that so many people seemed to be reading it since she can count on the fingers of one hand the number of comments that have been left on her website. And so it became obvious that Laura would need to create a bridge for herself to get her over the huge chasm of doubt when it came to brant-writing. And so she asked the group of women assembled a favor:

To please please please leave a comment on her brant to let her know they were reading it.

Most of the women had only one objection to that request: they were too shy to leave a multi-sentence comment on her brant or her discussion page. Which is when Laura tailored her request to something very specific:

Just write the phrase, “I’m reading it,” she asked.

And so, the brask was born (brag + rant + ask = brask).

Laura is deeply grateful to the few friends and friends of friends (you know who you are) who have posted their support in the form of that one simple sentence, and she now sends out a wider brask for more people to do the same. This is because Laura finds it really hard to continue writing her brant when she thinks no one is reading it. All she needs is for a few people a day, or a week, or an hour, to post those three magic words — I’m reading it — to ensure future branting from Laura.

For those of you who have just arrived at Laura’s Website, you might want to read her Homepage and her Bio to see what she’s all about these days (self-promotion).

Up until now, Laura considered such public displays of self-absorption — PDSAs — completely unseemly and she refused to engage in anything which could, even remotely, be considered self-promotional. Of course, when invited to do a reading, or attend a book group, or give a lecture, Laura would always gratefully accept. Why? Because she hadn’t generated the attention; the attention had come to her.

But when it would come time to generate attention to herself for herself by herself — the way all authors are supposed to — she refused. Which is why, at this late date, 2006, years and years after every single Tom Dick and Harry has their own website and blog and newsletter and podcast, she is finally joining the pack.

Yet even though she is indeed joining the pack, Laura refuses to follow the herd. This has always been both a positive and a negative in her life. Because instead of just blogging away on a blog, she felt the need to create her own specialized forum of communcation — one she has renamed BRANT. Brant, she feels, better sums up exactly what this sort of activity is really all about — bragging and ranting — and now that she has her own brant she will be branting away as much as possible.

And so, Laura welcomes you to the introductory post for her brand new brant. She hopes you like it! (But if you don’t, please don’t tell her. The last thing she needs right now 24 days away from publication is a whole bunch of “honesty” from people she doesn’t even know. That would be a huge buzz-killer.)