Okay, Laura swears this is the last “brant implant” “teaser” she’ll post but this item that ran in the New York Post was emailed to her by Ellen Comisar who was in attendance at a fiction panel event last Friday at the JCC in Rochester, N.Y., and heard Laura talk about “has beens.” This was too good not to use and so, somewhat guiltily, Laura posts this for your enjoyment.

(Note: Laura chose to delete the specific has been’s name not only to protect herself but also because, in the end, it really doesn’t matter which has been this article is referring to since all has beens are basically the same.)

(One other note: if you’re really dying to know which has been this is about, you could always go to the New York Post’s website and read the actual article…)

> Ellen Comisar writes: “You know you’re a ‘has been” when …’

November 6, 2006 — It’s hard to believe, but employees at the Metropolitan Opera didn’t recognize screen legend [NAME OF HAS BEEN DELETED] on Halloween night. [NAME OF HAS BEEN DELETED] went to see “Madama Butterfly” at the Met and wanted to congratulate tenor Marcello Giordani in person. However, security posted backstage had no idea who she was, according to billymasters.com, and since her name wasn’t on the list, she was denied entry. [NAME OF HAS BEEN DELETED] had to cool her heels in the Met’s legendary “tunnel” while members of the tenor’s fan club who were on the official list were admitted. When Giordani heard [NAME OF HAS BEEN DELETED] was waiting for him outside, he rushed to greet her, but she was gone.“