A friend — Wendy H., the afore-lauded braint of Laura’s brant — sent this to Laura yesterday in a desperate attempt to get Laura to brant. (Please note that Wendy H. addressed her email to Laura, The Branter, as opposed to Laura, The Person. This means that Laura has succeeded in convincing her readers (both of them) of her dual personae!) And so, while Laura is usually 100% responsible for the content on her website and especially on her brant, her need for something funny to throw at her starved fans — and her agreement that this news item is really funny — this one time she is allowing herself to be “pitched” and “used” to “advance another person’s agenda” by posting something suggested to her by someone else. (Another note: this gets dangerously close to how P.R. people and journalists work which makes Laura very very nervous, but rest assured that this will never happen again.)

Scruples and brantilistic ethics aside, here’s the pre-written item, completely written by Wendy H.:

“So, perhaps Laura could brant about this, the amusing part being that they arrested a naked man ‘on suspicion of indecent exposure’… like they couldn’t tell for sure.”

“A man was arrested on suspicion of carrying a concealed weapon after police found him outdoors — naked — and he told them he had a tool in his rectum, authorities said.”
(From Boston.com: “Naked Man Arrested for Concealed Weapon”; November 4, 2006.)